Timeless Wisdom from The Brains Trust
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Infinity not as big as was first thought
Mathematicians have recently been successful in calculating actual values for so-called "infinity", and although there is some disagreement over the number itself, there is general consensus that it is not as high as it was once believed to be. It is still a very large number, though, and cannot be handled by the kind of electronic calculators that can be bought in food stores.
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PC Whirled
The help desks at many stores and HQs have recently been upgraded. Now when you call, you are put straight through to the nearest old folks retirement home, where the aged occupants have been found to not only have far more technical knowledge than the average help desk employee but lots more patience too. Some of the new recruits are happy to spend up to 3 hours talking to you, especially about details from their childhood.
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Scanning with a CDROM drive
If you place a CD into your CD-ROM drive upside-down, it will scan in the image from the front of the CD.